Post Number 1 - Holiday Grumbles

We, this being my first blog-post, I better say something worth saying.

This is why I'm starting my blog.

• I wanna comment on what I'm seeing
• I wanna explain what I'm doing
• I wanna explain why I'm doing it
• It's a therapy thing

So. Here goes nothing.

I've just come back from holiday in Crete, Greece.

Almost everyone I've seen since getting back says ".... did you have a nice holiday?"

And you know what? No I didn't really. Not as good as it should have been.

And I feel guilty about saying it so I say "Yes thanks.... It was great" and I give em a great big cheesy smile and they go away.

It's awful. I mean, the holiday wasn't shite. It was okay, .... I suppose. I just feel cheated and let down.

Crete is a lovely place. Very nice. All of Greece, from what I've seen so far is lovely. BUT. It's not as nice as Corfu. Crete is much more dry and arid.

Okay. Okay. Okay. I sound ungrateful. This is my problem. I don't want to sound ungrateful. Its a great big privilege to have a holiday.

Here's why I'm being a misery.

Last year, Jo and I were lucky enough to go away on holiday twice. I run a pub and its a hellish way to live your life. You have no privacy and no life of your own. Having TWO weeks away from it isn't too much to ask for, I don't think. Most publicans I know and have known have always had LOTS of holidays. And I don't blame them. You need em and if you can afford em, good luck to you. I can't afford as many as I'd like but I do my best to make sure that my wife & I have a break away from here when the opportunity arrises.

The First Holiday last year was MAY 2009. We went to Crete.

It was a raving bargain. The holiday was one of Thomas Cooks "Group" holidays that they advertise on the window, to draw you in (They're called Group Holidays, not because you go away as a group, but the group of Thomas Cook shops in one area get together and GROUP BOOK some holidays at a cheaper rate and then sell them on). We booked this holiday at The Stella Village, Analipsi, Near Hersonissos. Stella Village is "donkeys years" old and has seen better days. The owners of Stella Village have not been flittering away the money they've made though. They bought the piece of land next door and set about building Stella Palace, a new, chic 5 star luxury holiday complex which is what they call, in greek "the Dogs Bollocksos".

So, Jo and I had paid pennies to stay at Stella Village. Then we enquired if it was possible to upgrade to ALL INCLUSIVE. They offered us A.I. for £10 each per day and at the rate I can sort out the Metaxa, that offer was immediately taken up.

When we got to Stella Village the guy at the desk, Demestos, asked us to wait until everyone else had been dealt with, as they understood it was our honeymoon (I always tell em that, you get a free bottle of wine and a bowl of fruit in your room) and they had a special treat for us.

Actually, they had a problem. They had accepted money from us for A.I. and couldn't provide it at Stella Village.

Their solution, which certainly suited us, was to put us in the new place, Stella Palace.

Stella Palace really deserves its name. It is beautiful. They have designed and built a really terrific holiday complex. And its all brand new. We were right at the start of its very first season. We weren't the very first occupants of the new room but we were close.

Our room was lovely. Jacuzzi bath. Super-King sized bed. Air-Con. Massive Balcony which overlooked the room below's own private pool.

Seeing the private pool below made me envious of the lucky devils in that suite. I tried to upgrade us but Demestos was having non of it. So. We enjoyed our holiday in luxury that had cost very little. We both slept a hell of a lot on that holiday. It'd been a tough winter and our first chance to rest took us both to the land of nod. We left our room very little on that holiday and didn't get to see much of Crete at all. Very rested but almost strangers to the land there.

We decided that upon return, we'd book a holiday for MAY 2010 at the same place but in one of the super-duper private pool suites.

We did just that. Booked the specific suite we wanted. Cost a feckin' fortune. All together, I reckon the holiday we just had cost around £2200 which is about £1700 more than the previous one.

And....... It just didn't live up to expectations.

You see for a few hundred quid each, we had had a great bargain and enjoyed it (what we saw of it). For over a grand each we had nothing very much extra. Obviously the pool. Yes we had a private pool. I used it once. Jo used it once. Wasted. Complete waste of money.

Then there's the financial problems in Greece. We were All Inclusive so it shouldn't have mattered but. But. Every meal, the waiters, Thermos and Argos tried to persuade us that the All Inclusive wine was not suitable to persons of elevated status such as ourselves. We should PURCHASE something from the wine list. Hmmm. Should we now? "No Thank you Thermos, I didn't want it yesterday, and I don't want it today - perhaps you could let us have what we've already paid for and then piss right off, eh"

And then there's the bar. Lovely. Right by the pools. Nice.

"Hello Georgios, Can I have please, a Brandy & Coke, with ice and a Malibu & Coke, no ice for the wife"

"Yes Mr Chris. You know the Brandy is our local made, yes"

"Yes Georgios, you told me yesterday, and the day before. I bet you're now gonna remind me that you have some very nice good proper Brandy for You Pay Extra"

"Yes Mr Chris, You Pay Extra, Yes?"

"No Georgios, I No Pay Feckin Extra, No" Hmmm.

"Mr Chris, Malibu is You Pay Extra" Hmmm.

On my first night there, at an All Inclusive bar, I managed to spend £53. Hmmm.

Everywhere within this beautiful All Inclusive complex there were little greek people trying to squeeze a few more quid out of you. And it hurt me. It spoilt it for me. I was just so disappointed with it all.

So. I ain't being unreasonable am I?

Disappointed. Thats what I am. Disappointed.

So. Don't bother asking if I had a nice holiday.

You might not like what you hear.