Chocolate Milkshake My Arse

This afternoon, I had to take Jo to the MOT station to pick up her car, which after £130 for a few screws and washers was ready for collection. It was tea-time and we endured the tea-time traffic, which thankfully was heavier in the opposite direction.

"... don't fancy sitting in this lot, on the way back" said Jo

"No. Neither do I".

"Shall we pop to MacDonalds on the way back for a coffee?" Suggested Jo.

"Yes, Darling. Excellent Idea"

Now. I gotta say, before I start slagging em off, I actually like MacDonalds coffee. It's sound. And cheaper than your Starbucks and such like poncy outfits. The food too, to be fair to them, is alright...ish. It serves its purpose when you're in a rush and just need a quick tide-you-over.

So. We collected the car and Jo followed behind me to MacDonalds in Oldbury. By the time we'd got there, my desire for coffee had become a desire for something cool to drink.

I opted for a Chocolate Milkshake.

Chocolate? My Feckin' Arse.

How do they have the front to call that chocolate. It's not even slightly chocolate. Not in colour. Not in taste. It's completely tasteless and colourless. It's just cold.

I wonder who sets the control that issues the chocolate sauce in the milkshake machine? I'm assuming thats how it works. There must be a setting thing which ups or downs the amount?

Now. I've noticed in the past, when I've been through the Drive-through at MacDonalds that on the wall, in the little prison cell that the spotty kid passes your order to you from, next to the Draught Pepsi/Fanta/Whatever there was a sign. This sign was a reminder to spotty kid to put plenty of ice in each serving of pop. The sign reminded spotty kid that it was one of his team-mate's turn to get a bonus for how many servings of Pepsi they could achieve from each tank of syrup. The principle, for the hard of thinking, being that the more ice you put in the cup, the more pop this will displace, and therefore your half litre (or whatever) cup only needs a quarter of a litre of pop to be filled up. Imagine this multiplied throughout the year and someone, somewhere is making a monkey out of us.

So. Do they have a bonus system in place for the Milkshake Machine?

Is spotty kid getting an extra £5 this month for robbing me and you of our chocolate?

I bet there is.

I'm fecked off with it.

I wanted chocolate and got cold. Not even boring vanilla. Just icy cold pulp.

Rubbish. Just Fecking Bollocking Feck-Eyed Rubbish.