Your Country Needs You !!!

Oh dear. Where to start, where to start?

What do I start with?

My embarrassment?

My disenfranchisement?

My horror?

It’s just disgraceful.

First point of issue has to be “Over-Paid Prima-Donna’s”.

What a bunch of wankers we have running the FA.

I’ve been a manager for almost the whole of my working life. I understand how hard it can be to get those “Under you” to perform to their highest standard. How difficult it can be to ask them to “go that extra mile” for you when they are tired and low. It has been tough pushing my friends and colleagues to reach the targets which are perhaps really beyond our reach. But. But. And it’s a big but. Dare I say that I have done it. That’s why I got the better pay. That’s why I climbed the ladder and got to the top of the organisation.

In my business now, I run one of the few pubs that are surviving this combined government/council attack on a once great industry. My ability to manage keeps my business running and surviving.

I could run The England Football squad.

However. I wouldn’t want to be England Manager. I wanna be the Chairman of the F.A.

I would sort this shower of shit out. Trust me.

My first action as the new head of the F.A. would be to sack the whole fucking lot of them. Start again with a fresh organisation who actually care whether England win or not.

Interviews for my managerial staff would be simple enough. There must be zillions of qualified people applying for the job. How do you pick between them. I would show preference to those coming to be interviewed wearing England Shirts and (even better) sporting a visible England Tattoo. My reasoning being that if you love your country enough to wear the badge – you’re in.

My second action would be to round up all the arseholes who Cappello took with him to South Africa. I’d get them in the office, one at a time, and tell them to hand back any property belonging to Team England and GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT. They are not fit to wear the shirt and never will again. Over-Paid-Prima-Donna’s. Indeed they are.

Am I over-reacting? I don’t think I am. After all, this is the most important issue in the entire country.

Ask yourself this. The recent General Election. Not even half of us bothered to vote. Those that did vote generally had split opinions as to who should rule the country. Some support Labour, some Conservative, others the other weirdos.

At the World Cup 2010 we were of ONE SINGLE OPINION. WE ALL WANT ENGLAND TO WIN THE WORLD CUP.

Every single one of us. There is no greater issue in the country. England should win the World Cup.

Some of us like Rock Music. Others can’t stand it. They prefer Dance music (Hmm. Another subject, another day) or Classical, or Jazz, or whatever. We don’t all agree. We all have different tastes. BUT - WE ALL WANT ENGLAND TO WIN THE WORLD CUP.

Some people like watching Ant and Dec on a Saturday night. Some prefer Dale Orange. Some will watch anything to avoid him, even “Come Dine With Me”. BUT - WE ALL WANT ENGLAND TO WIN THE WORLD CUP.

It’s the one uniting issue in England. WE ALL WANT ENGLAND TO WIN THE WORLD CUP.

Some of my friends insist that the country would be better of as a republic. Others of my acquaintance love our Queen.

When HM Queen reaches the end of her reign and God calls her off to the big Corgi Kennel in the sky, we will no doubt be given a day’s holiday to celebrate the coronation of Big Ears and his wife, Clamidia. I wonder whether as many people will be putting flags on their cars and houses in patriotic fervour as we have seen over the last few weeks.

I wonder how many people will tune in on that day to watch the procession. Not as many as tuned in to see our idle bastards being out-played by Slovenia, a nation with as many inhabitants as Birmingham.

I wonder if my pub will be filled with many cheering boozy revellers, happy in celebration of our new monarch as we saw when our idle bastards managed to scrape a goal against that great footballing nation, Algeria.

I will happily give my vote to any political party who can promise me that England will win the next World Cup. We can win it. Maybe one day. When we have people in charge with as much passion and understanding of the game as our housewives and pensioners. Maybe one day we will have the guts to change things.

I would make it clear to everyone that playing for your country, when your country is England, is about the most privileged thing you could ever do. I would insist that any player earning over £3,000 per week (which is all of the twats) is disqualified from ever putting on the shirt unless their earnings were put into trust for when their career in football is over. Any player who plays his club football overseas is also similarly disqualified. England is where you live and work, thank you very much.

The teams that employ the potential England team individuals would be HEAVILY fined for playing our lads the week before an international match and equally fined for not playing them at other times. I will not tolerate our lads sitting on the bench for Man U when they should be scoring goals.

These are just a few ideas and PLEASE, feel free to add your own, by way of COMMENT below.

Lets make a change folks. Lets make it happen, after all, it’s more important than anything.

Joseph Bazalgette would spin in his grave.

Burnt Tree Island.

What a feckin mess.

Tell me. Have you ever seen anyone actually working on the feckin thing or is it just a designated practice area for maniac digger drivers?

I see a hole cordoned off by bollards, traffic cones and yellow meshing and I can’t help wondering what the hole is for and why it has been dug. Why has it been dug? Any idea’s anyone?

According to Sandwell’s website (just type in “Burnt Tree Island” on Google, you’ll find the link) the initial stages of the project will be taken up with redirecting Gas, Electricity and Water supplies.

That’s alright then.

Feck off!!!

Redirecting Gas, Electricity and water may well be quite a job, but surely to Christ it ain’t so big a job that it takes years.

When Joseph Bazalgette gave Victorian London a Sewerage System it took him 10 years altogether. 10 years. But his system was over 83 miles of massive brick-built mains sewers plus 1,100 miles of smaller “street” sewers. These tossers at Burnt Tree have got a few hundred yards to sort out. If they’d been in charge of Bazalgette’s project, they’d still be down there now.

Have you seen the signs for the “Expected Date of Completion”? Its scheduled to be a right feckin mess until sometime when your grandkids will be leaving school.

That’s just so much feckin bollocks I really can’t see how the “Construction Partners” (as Sandwell M.B.C put it) Carillion Construction Ltd, get away with it. I mean. It’s ludicrous.

I remember when they made wholesale changes to the Birchley Island (which you’ll note is much larger, has more exits and is right on a feckin motorway). It took days. A week – tops. They got on with it as soon as the busiest traffic times eased up and sorted the fecker out, mainly overnight.

What are they up to at Burnt Tree? I’ve been on Sandwell’s website and there in black and white, “The scheme is expected to take 21 months to complete”.

Feckin Jesus.

It’s a good job there ain’t a war on.

21 months. That’s almost enough time for a “white elephant” to have a baby “white elephant”.

And how much is this baby elephant costing?

£12.3 MILLION. You could buy a fecking football player for that.

£12.3 Million that is, until the costs start accumulating. And accumulating. And accumulating. £11.8 Million provided by The Department Of Transport (i.e. you and me who have to pay through our arses for Road Tax that we’re told keeps going up as some sort of “green tax” on fossil burning fuels, bollocks and bullshit). The rest paid for by ……. Wait for it…… Yes, you guessed it. YOU AND FECKIN ME.

I can’t believe that this is all gonna be for the better either. They’re changing a 5 exit island into a 4 exit set of traffic lights.

Ask yourself where you sit in traffic the most. Is it waiting to get onto an island or is it at traffic lights? I believe it’s an easy question. I live between Birchley and Burnt Tree, which for different reason have always been too busy. Birchley, for a start is too big, I reckon. Cars get too much speed up as they go around and that makes it harder to enter the traffic flow. Living between these monster islands gives you a negative attitude to islands. Most Islands are easy to enter and exit. Think about a drive from Oldbury through Smethwick (A457). Loads of Islands. Easy peasy. Compare that with the Wolverhampton Road (A4123). Hundreds of traffic lights and it takes three days to get from Oldbury to Wolverhampton. Not that you’d ever want to go to Wolverhampton, but you see my point.

Islands are better for traffic flow than Traffic Lights. Absolutely definitely.

The world’s gone mad. And we just sit there, in the traffic queue, staring open-mouthed at the miles and miles of yellow meshing as no fecker does anything.

Feckin un-bloody-believeable.