Your Country Needs You !!!

Oh dear. Where to start, where to start?

What do I start with?

My embarrassment?

My disenfranchisement?

My horror?

It’s just disgraceful.

First point of issue has to be “Over-Paid Prima-Donna’s”.

What a bunch of wankers we have running the FA.

I’ve been a manager for almost the whole of my working life. I understand how hard it can be to get those “Under you” to perform to their highest standard. How difficult it can be to ask them to “go that extra mile” for you when they are tired and low. It has been tough pushing my friends and colleagues to reach the targets which are perhaps really beyond our reach. But. But. And it’s a big but. Dare I say that I have done it. That’s why I got the better pay. That’s why I climbed the ladder and got to the top of the organisation.

In my business now, I run one of the few pubs that are surviving this combined government/council attack on a once great industry. My ability to manage keeps my business running and surviving.

I could run The England Football squad.

However. I wouldn’t want to be England Manager. I wanna be the Chairman of the F.A.

I would sort this shower of shit out. Trust me.

My first action as the new head of the F.A. would be to sack the whole fucking lot of them. Start again with a fresh organisation who actually care whether England win or not.

Interviews for my managerial staff would be simple enough. There must be zillions of qualified people applying for the job. How do you pick between them. I would show preference to those coming to be interviewed wearing England Shirts and (even better) sporting a visible England Tattoo. My reasoning being that if you love your country enough to wear the badge – you’re in.

My second action would be to round up all the arseholes who Cappello took with him to South Africa. I’d get them in the office, one at a time, and tell them to hand back any property belonging to Team England and GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT. They are not fit to wear the shirt and never will again. Over-Paid-Prima-Donna’s. Indeed they are.

Am I over-reacting? I don’t think I am. After all, this is the most important issue in the entire country.

Ask yourself this. The recent General Election. Not even half of us bothered to vote. Those that did vote generally had split opinions as to who should rule the country. Some support Labour, some Conservative, others the other weirdos.

At the World Cup 2010 we were of ONE SINGLE OPINION. WE ALL WANT ENGLAND TO WIN THE WORLD CUP.

Every single one of us. There is no greater issue in the country. England should win the World Cup.

Some of us like Rock Music. Others can’t stand it. They prefer Dance music (Hmm. Another subject, another day) or Classical, or Jazz, or whatever. We don’t all agree. We all have different tastes. BUT - WE ALL WANT ENGLAND TO WIN THE WORLD CUP.

Some people like watching Ant and Dec on a Saturday night. Some prefer Dale Orange. Some will watch anything to avoid him, even “Come Dine With Me”. BUT - WE ALL WANT ENGLAND TO WIN THE WORLD CUP.

It’s the one uniting issue in England. WE ALL WANT ENGLAND TO WIN THE WORLD CUP.

Some of my friends insist that the country would be better of as a republic. Others of my acquaintance love our Queen.

When HM Queen reaches the end of her reign and God calls her off to the big Corgi Kennel in the sky, we will no doubt be given a day’s holiday to celebrate the coronation of Big Ears and his wife, Clamidia. I wonder whether as many people will be putting flags on their cars and houses in patriotic fervour as we have seen over the last few weeks.

I wonder how many people will tune in on that day to watch the procession. Not as many as tuned in to see our idle bastards being out-played by Slovenia, a nation with as many inhabitants as Birmingham.

I wonder if my pub will be filled with many cheering boozy revellers, happy in celebration of our new monarch as we saw when our idle bastards managed to scrape a goal against that great footballing nation, Algeria.

I will happily give my vote to any political party who can promise me that England will win the next World Cup. We can win it. Maybe one day. When we have people in charge with as much passion and understanding of the game as our housewives and pensioners. Maybe one day we will have the guts to change things.

I would make it clear to everyone that playing for your country, when your country is England, is about the most privileged thing you could ever do. I would insist that any player earning over £3,000 per week (which is all of the twats) is disqualified from ever putting on the shirt unless their earnings were put into trust for when their career in football is over. Any player who plays his club football overseas is also similarly disqualified. England is where you live and work, thank you very much.

The teams that employ the potential England team individuals would be HEAVILY fined for playing our lads the week before an international match and equally fined for not playing them at other times. I will not tolerate our lads sitting on the bench for Man U when they should be scoring goals.

These are just a few ideas and PLEASE, feel free to add your own, by way of COMMENT below.

Lets make a change folks. Lets make it happen, after all, it’s more important than anything.