Facebook. It has it's good points but by Christ does it have its bad points.
I am lucky enough to be friends (and not just Facebook friends) with Wreckless Eric. You may or may not have heard of him, depending on your musical tastes but Wreckless Eric was one of the heroes of my youth. He was one of the STIFF record label stable that included Ian Dury & The Blockheads, Dave Edmonds, Lene Lovich, Nick Lowe, Dr. Feelgood, Elvis Costello, Madness, Kirsty MacColl..... I could go on.....
Wreckless Eric was to his parents and contemporaries, plain old Eric Goulden. To the rest of the world he is, and will always be Wreckless Eric, composer and performer of the great “Whole Wide World” (amongst others).
I've been a fan since those great days when we all purchased records instead of downloading them from a file-sharing site for free. Vinyl was king. I had 3 paper-rounds plus a Saturday job, so I was a great customer for Woolworths and Graduate Records (Dudley). I was a happy record shopper and absorbed every far-reaching strand that music reached out to. I had my phases as a Punk, A Rocker, a Mod, a New Romantic, everything you could name, I've been it. Good God. Thinking back. I must've looked a bit of a freak. Well. I'm sure I did, as much as I'm sure I still do now.
Wreckless Eric has been a friend since he played a gig at my pub, The Dolls House, in March 2010. I've seen him and his excellent wife and co-performer Amy Rigby a good few times, whenever they are in our area. They are FANTASTIC. No other way of describing their art.
Last gig of theirs that I went to, Eric said “Hi Kris” to me from the stage when he spotted me amongst the audience, right by the bar. I felt like jumping up into the air.
We keep in touch by Facebook. It's useful for this as you can let everyone know what you're up to and what is having effect on you.
He is following the progress of my Band, Pearl Necklace and has offered help whenever we feel the time is right to record. He is a friend now, as well as still, one of my heroes.
Today, after doing the tiny bit of work I had to do, I opened up the computer and went to Facebook. Checking up what's on peoples minds. Passing comments and passing on news. I saw a status from Eric Goulden which was complaining that the powers that be, within the Facebook organisation had altered his account details from WRECKLESS ERIC to his real name.
What right do these people have to decide for Wreckless Eric that he must be Eric Goulden.
I am appalled.
Firstly, do they not understand the concept of a stage name? Are they so shallow?
Are they also saying that I now must call myself Christopher John Tarplee rather than my preferred moniker of Kris Misery-Guts Tarplee which I feel better expresses my inner self. Surely it's up to me? You can call yourself whatever you want to and I'll call myself whatever I want to. Surely that's right. Surely.
I've recently put a “presence” on Facebook for my band, Pearl Necklace. The idea being that everyone who wants to know more about us can easily look us up and keep abreast of whatever we are doing or wherever and whenever we are gigging. What happens now then? How do we sort this one out? Pearl Necklace as a single person doesn't exist, obviously. Do I have to close the account? Or maybe the little Napoleon at Facebook would allow me to keep it, so long as I changed my name by deed to Pearl Necklace. Trouble is, Pearl is a girls name and I'm still a boy.
Oh shit. It has just become clear to me.
I'm gonna have to seriously consider my musicianship over my gender and whether I give up as the singer in a Rock and Roll Band and keep my testicles, or disappear for a few weeks, have my swingers lopped off and my sword de-porked. Call myself Pearl Necklace and carry on with the band.
I'm being silly, of course, but so are Facebook.
What's the point of it?
They accuse Wreckless Eric of being fake. Not a bit of it mate. Not a bit. He's one of the most REAL people you can meet. Fake, he most certainly is not.
If (and I ain't checked up either way) Cliff Richard had a Facebook page do you think he'd be forced to change it to Harry Webb? Would my Mom still love him if he was Harry? I don't suppose her devotion to him could ever be moved after all these years but would she have ever followed Harry Webb the same way she followed Cliff? Impossible to answer but food for thought. Imagine if she'd been so compulsive about Cliff when I had been born. Jumping Jesus. I might be Cliff Tarplee. Feck me with a stick.
Come on Facebook. Show some sympathy and some taste. Lets not be simpletons. Lets put a bit of perspective to work here.
Wreckless Eric Forever.
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